In the wake of Thanksgiving, the shopping madness is in full swing. But did it really start after Thanksgiving, Black Friday sorta hijacked it didn’t it? I noticed this last year and again this year. At some point waiting until midnight for Black Friday was just too darn hard; and companies decided that the shopping should spill over into Thanksgiving. For the last two years companies like Best Buy opened their Doors for Black Friday sales at 8pm on Thanksgiving Day! This year some companies started even earlier.
But are a few companies taking a stand enough to battle corporate greed, or the dangerous mob mindset that so many otherwise sane shoppers seem to be overcome by this time of year? We have all seen the Youtube videos of the freakishly chaotic shopping hoards and their petty disputes over who grabbed what first. America seems to lose it around this time every year, and that is the perfect time for companies to take advantage of our soft impressionable consumer minds.
The fact is, companies like Nordstrom and REI are on the losing side. The majority of corporations and consumers alike can’t get to shopping fast enough. But if this trend continues, and Thanksgiving continuously gets bullied and overshadowed by Black Friday, what will this holiday look like in 20 or 30 years?
Gray Thursday; this is the future of Thanksgiving! No longer will we sit down and give thanks for what we are most grateful for in our lives. No longer will we travel to friends and family. No longer will we look forward to the plethora of infamous family mash potatoes recipes, or grandmother’s stuffing. No longer will we look up our favorite leftover “how to” on Pintrest. Gray Thursday will be the precursor to Black Friday, and you won’t get the Black Friday sale unless you buy something on Gray Thursday.
Corporations will encourage shoppers to come in on Thursday morning, pitch tents in the parking lot and stay through Friday evening, Heck, there will be Geek Squad members every 10 feet passing out 5hr energy shots and bumps of cocaine; because who needs sleep anyway? It will be a glorious and manic non stop 48hr shopping frenzy. Riots will ensue, injuries rampant, the heady whiff of fear and anxiety fills the nostrils with each breath. There will be barricades and tear gas, and the festiveness of the holiday will be marked by the rising death toll. The beautiful and disgusting mayhem of man at is worst, no shame, no regrets, no holding back baby, it’s GRAY THRUSDAY BITCH, Get the hell out of my way!
No stories of Pilgrims and Indians. The only reminisce of the long lost Thanksgiving will be mobile food vendors, like at a ballpark, selling turkey legs while you shop.
“Turkey legs, get your turkey legs. Hot. Grease GMO goodness!”
“Just $23.99 for a delicious turkey leg, but if you spend at least $100 in store, you get a side of mash potatoes and gravy in a commemorative Gray Thursday 12oz container!”
Happy Shopping!
by Castor
